Classic Internet Classics - Part 2
January 29th, 2005
To continue my "Internet Classics" series, I submit you The Official Geek Test!
The Official Geek Test
Here it is, the geek test, written by geeks themselves and probably the most comprehensive test of its kind. The fact that you even have your hands on a copy of this test is probably indicative of at least some inherent geekiness or at the very least geek friends who led you here. To take this test you will need a pen or a pencil and some paper (items no proper geek should be without). The statements should be self-explanatory; award yourself points where they ring true and even if in doubt (i.e. you only painted one miniature and it was a year ago) go ahead and take the points anyway…take pride in your geekdom. As a general rule, the statements need to pertain to the last two years. The fact that you played D&D when you were ten years old doesn't count unless you are between the ages of ten and twelve.
| Played miniature game (if you are questioning what miniatures are, skip these questions) |
10 |
| Bought miniatures | 20 |
| Painted miniature | 25 |
| Paid for miniatures to be painted | 35 |
| Been paid to paint miniatures | 70 |
| (Welcome back) |
|
| Own Monty Python | 10 |
| Quote Monty Python | 30 |
| Quote Mel Brooks | 20 |
| Watched the Star Wars Movies | 5 |
| Corrected the previous statement to "the first Star Wars movies" | 10 |
| Quote Star Wars | 15 |
| Know Star Wars history | 40 |
| Seen the Star Wars Christmas special | 50 |
| Fact checked about Star Wars | 50 |
| Watched Star Trek (occasionally) | 10 |
| Watched Star Trek (regularly) | 20 |
| Know the actors in Star Trek | 20 |
| Know the episodes of Star Trek (Plot and names) | 45 |
| Have gone to a Star Trek convention | 60 |
| Know Klingon |
100 |
| Attended Klingon summer camp (even we think you're a freak on this one) |
200 |
| Game system map on the wall | 50 |
| Played RPG | 25 |
| Own a RPG book | 30 |
| Own a library of RPG books (15 or more) (this is the actual game books, not he fiction novels…don't worry, you'll get to claim those later) |
50 |
| Quote from RPG books | 100 |
| Play LARP | 25 |
| Play LARP weekly | 50 |
| Play LARP or RPG more than three times a week | 120 |
| Know what LARP or RPG means | 5 |
| Have a dice bag (doesn't everyone?) | 5 |
| Ever lost someone in gaming conversations | 20 |
| On a daily basis | 50 |
| Fact checked a RPG or LARP outside of game | 40 |
| Attended a gaming convention | 40 |
| Ran or helped organize a gaming convention | 70 |
| Played an all night gaming session | 10 |
| On New Years Eve | 100 |
| Spent four hours or more in a gaming store in one day | 20 |
| Owned or worked in a gaming store | 40 |
| Run a LARP or RPG | 30 per game |
| Play rock, paper scissors a lot | 10 |
| make gaming references to real life | 25 |
| Know someone only by their character/in-game name | 20 |
| Played the Amber RPG | 30 |
| Play Magic | 20 |
| Have an extensive Magic card collection (1000 or more) | 80 |
| Read Literature for fun (school doesn't count) | 5 |
| Read Sci-Fi for fun |
15 |
| Prefer the full pronunciation of science fiction because it's classier | 30 |
| Read literature based off of RPGs | 35 |
| Favorite author is R.A Salvatore | 70 |
| Own or read a Star Wars/Trek book | 20 |
| Own or read the Vampire Chronicles | 10 |
| Own or read the core Tolkein books | 10 |
| Read the other "Tolkein" books | 20 |
| Own or read all the Dune books | 20 |
| Own or read all the Amber books | 20 |
| Own or read all the Star Wars books | 75 |
| Own or read all the Star Trek books | 150 |
| Dress all in black | 5 |
| Own a gaming teeshirt | 30 |
| Own a trench coat | 5 |
| Own a corset | 5 |
| Know what garb means | 5 |
| Own a set of garb | 20 |
| Ever worn garb to scare normals | 40 |
| Attended a ren-fair | 10 |
| Member of SCA | 30 |
| Member of NIGA | 30 |
| Member of RPGA | 30 |
| Member of local gaming club | 30 |
| Pagan | 15 |
| Read Douglas Adams books | 5 |
| Quote from a Douglas Adams book |
10 |
| Own a Rush album | 10 |
| Own a Joe Satriani album | 10 |
| Own a Dead Can Dance album | 10 |
| Own a Final Fantasy soundtrack | 50 |
| Read Sandman | 5 |
| Own Sandman | 25 |
| Worship Neal Gaimon as a god | 25 |
| Collect comic books | 20 |
| Own a comic book teeshirt | 10 |
| Own a computer | 5 |
| Own a maxed out computer | 20 |
| Built your own computer | 50 |
| Play computer/console RPGs | 10 |
| Play computer/console Strategy games | 5 |
| Chat | 20 |
| Met significant other through internet | 60 |
| Know computer language | 30 per language |
| Know assembly | 50 |
| Know machine language | 200 |
| Own computer teeshirt | 40 |
| Write in binary for fun | 100 |
| Have played a video game for more than six hours in one sitting | 25 |
| Are a video game junkie (play video games for more than 20 hours a week) |
75 |
| Enjoy watching video games | 50 |
| Own Tony Hawk Pro Skater | 10 |
| Believe in the zen of Tony Hawk | 50 |
| Own any Anime | 15 |
| Have extensive Anime collection | 80 |
| Own Anime teeshirt | 10 |
| Have a comics/Anime/gaming poster | 20 |
| Have a station wagon or van | 5 |
| Thinking that you can get laid in the back of your station wagon or van |
20 |
| Brush your teeth less than twice a day | 5 |
| Brush your teeth less than twice a week | 25 |
| Having long hair if you're a man | 5 |
| Shower less than six times a week | 10 |
| Have a distinctive unpleasant odor (ask a friend or co-worker) | 15 |
| Hang out in coffee houses and all night diners | 10 |
| Wrote of helped write a geek test | 100 |
| Watch Dr. Who | 30 |
| Dr. Who fan | 45 |
| Play Dr. Who RPG | 75 |
| Own or Read all Dr. Who novels | 125 |
| Fact checked Dr. Who | 50 |
Because the next three questions pertain to
activities frequently participated in highschool, the two year rule does
not apply. But if you have been out for more than ten years and aren't
involved in the activities through college or the community, go ahead and
skip these questions.
| Are or were in marching band | 20 |
| Are or were in choir | 10 |
| Are or were in a theatre program | 5 |
This next part of the test is the anti-geek
point section. Deduct any points earned from below from your current total.
These points can be claimed as long as the action happened in the last
four years unless it is related to highschool activities then the rules
above apply.
| Getting laid in the back of a station wagon of van |
50 |
| Play typical pop music instruments | 50 |
| Skating (in-line or skateboard) | 35 |
| Mountain biking | 35 |
| Treking (hiking, backpacking) | 50 |
| Play sports | 50 |
| Play popular sports (football, baseball, basketball) |
150 |
| Generally athletic | 10 |
| Have done jail time | 50 |
| Do drugs more than twice a year | 35 |
| Drink (we're talking party drinking here) | 15 |
| Own higher end, name brand, trendy clothes | 70 |
| Own a cool car | 50 |
| Not a virgin | 10 |
| Member of the 21 or mile high club | 100 |
| Own a motorcycle | 50 |
| Are well traveled (abroad or in the U.S.) | 80 |
| Hold a blue color job | 20 |
| Are a member of a rock band | 150 |
| Listen to country music | 20 |
| Go bar hopping | 30 |
| Are popular with members of the opposite sex |
80 |
| In a fraternity or a sorority | 75 |
Geek Point breakdown
0-199
Non Geek
200-299 Level
0 geek (wannabe)
300-350 Level
1 geek (Urkel)
351-451 Level
2 geek (casual geek)
452-652 Level
3 geek (true geek)
653-1053 Level 4 geek (Uber
Geek)
1054-1854 Level 5 geek (Jedi Master)
1855-2855 Level 6 geek (Leader of the
Golden Crown and Rear Admiral of the Fleet)
2866-4000 Level 7 geek (Maud'dib, The
Chosen Master of the Illuminati, Lord of
Silicon Valley and the Justicar of all he surveys)
If you can guess what this chart is based
on, give yourself 100 more points
